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See also Time
Anon
"90% of knowing Gods will; is being willing to do it."
Charles Kingsley
"There are two freedoms; the false where a man is free to do what he likes; the true where a man is free to do as he ought."
Catherine Booth
"It is the state of the soul which fixes the value of the employment."
"Unsaved people have a present controlled by the past, but Christians have a present controlled by the future."
Anon
"There is too much organising and too little agonising in the church today
Too much working before men and too little waiting before God."
Exam Choices
The girl reported for her University final examination, which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within a half an hour, she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, mumbling and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. But, I am rechecking my answers."
Clean Laugh
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. It was his first time approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"
Clean Laugh
Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time." The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time we've been setting our clock by your whistle.
Clean Laugh
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
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