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Childrens answer to question at Sunday School
"Holy acrimony is another name for marriage."
"Christians can have only one wife. This is called monotony."
Spike Miligan placed this add in a local news paper
"Spike Miligan wishes to meet Rich widow, with Big house, intention Murder."
he received 60 inquiries.
Woodrow Kroll
"I would like to think this story is true, but I am not sure.
Cyrus king of Persia during one of his wars, captured a prince and his family. He summoned the prince before his court to question him.
Cyrus 'How much will you give me to release your children?'
Prince 'Half of all I own', Cyrus was impressed
Cyrus 'How much will you give me to release yourself'
Prince 'All I own', Cyrus was impressed
Cyrus 'So how much will you give me to release your wife'
Prince 'Why I will give you my life', Cyrus was so impressed he released them all.
On the return journey, the prince asked his wife, 'Did you notice how handsome King Cyrus was?', 'No', his wife replied, 'as I could not keep my eyes of the one who was willing to give his life so I could go free.'"
"Here lies Jane Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of the same style 350 dollars." from Springdale, Ohio
Woodrow Kroll
"A widow sent up an a lengthy obituary for her late husband to be printed in the local paper. When she found out she would have to pay per word, she rang the editor up and suggested it was changed to 'Sam Brown has Died', but she was informed that it must be a minimum of seven words. So she changed it to, 'Sam Brown has Died, Ford Escort for Sale! All enquiries on 2343233'"
Woodrow Kroll
"In the states a couple who were both 95 went to court for a divorce. They had been married for 75 years. When asked by the judge why they hadn't done it sooner, they replied, 'We were waiting till all the children were dead.'"
Rev. Lowell's Treasury of Humor: He Who Laughs, Lasts
When Barbara and Jim were dating, Barbara became concerned over the lavish amount of money Jim was spending on her. After an expensive dinner date, she asked her mother, "What can I do to stop Jim from spending so much money on me?"
Her mother replied simply, "Marry him."
Clean Laugh
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he even told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like he was unimportant. He said that he felt as insignificant as a tiny pebble. "Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"
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